twice the smartass, half the laughs
A Funny Thing Happened on My Way to This Blog
Post Date:

You know what the funniest thing about the last blog post I had was? I know you're thinking to yourself, "But J, that blog was awesome in it's entirety. Hilarious bro. How could I possibly pick a funniest thing, yo? It was simply killer diller (have you ever noticed that when I talk for you, you sound an awful lot like me? Stop copying me.)." Yes, it is true. It was another piece of brilliant work on my part. But the funniest bit, for me anyway, wasn't actually in my blog at all. It was the in the comments left on my MySpace blog page. For those of you who are new to my blog, let me first just say "Welcome (and where the hell have you been?)." Then let me explain that, this blog you are reading is actually posted in two places. It is both on my MySpace blog page, and it is on my real site (what's that you ask? jesus christ i respond. go ask someone else. but, before you do, check to make sure you're not already on my real site. geez.). For those of you reading this on my real site, who may be unfamiliar with the workings of MySpace, when you post a blog on MySpace viewers can then post comments about it on your blog page (if you wanted to comment on my blog on my real site, you can always sign my guestbook. not that you will, but you could.). If you are reading this on MySpace and you are unfamiliar with the workings of MySpace, then you are an idiot (there...i said it. it's out there). Well, on my last blog, I received eight comments. This is where it starts getting good for me. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, there's really two things that were awesome about those comments.

The first involves my self declared number one fan Lou. (Well, there was some debate about that, and after having declared herself my number one fan she has since conceded to share the title with Chuck. So, how about that? I have two number one fans. Pretty cool huh? I mean, how many fans do you have? If you don't have any, I'll be your fan. I only have one condition, and that is that you have to be awesome. I repeat: IF YOU ARE NOT AWESOME, I WILL NOT BE YOUR FAN. Anyway...) I mentioned in my last blog that I knew how many times it had been viewed (because MySpace keeps track of that sort of thing), but I estimated that Lou probably accounted for a quarter of the views listed. Well, not wanting to stand idly by as some young American punk (oh, she's British) libels her good name (Is it libel or slander? I get those confused. Wait...I'll just look it up. we go. Ah, yes, libel it is. But wait, if I write it, but when you read it you hear my voice in your head, does that also make it slander?) by claiming that she is completely obsessed with him and reads his blogs over and over, Ms. Louise proceeded to leave me a comment to set me straight. No, I'm sorry that's not entirely correct. Actually she left me THREE comments. That's right. Of my eight comments, three of them were from Lou telling me how she doesn't read my blogs more than once. Awesome right? But really, if I'm to be completely honest, only one of them was about her not being obsessed with me. But Lou, if you're to be completely honest, won't you agree that you kinda asked for this? I mean, you DID see it coming right? General rule of thumb people: If you lob one in, I'm gonna hit it with everything I have. Dig? But fret not sweet Louise. I know you're not really responsible for a quarter of my blog views. It's really more like a third, right?

The second thing of awesomeness about the comments left about my last blog involves the subject matter of those comments. You see, in the blog itself, I mentioned about how I had originally intended to write a blog about weak ass handshakes and why they suck. But, that's actually the only time in the blog that handshakes are mentioned. I ended up writing it about how I had trouble coming up with something to write about. I only even mentioned my original theme to make the reader aware of the fact that I didn't end up writing about it. Of those eight comments I received, guess what half of them were about? If you guessed handshakes, then you guessed correctly. (If you guessed anything other than handshakes, then you're obviously not paying attention or you are a complete dumb ass. Or both maybe?) That's right four of my eight comments mentioned the subject matter that I didn't even write about. I'm sorry people, that just tickles me to no end (yes Chuck, I know how queer that sounds. you'd better watch it bro, or I'll tickle you to no end). I love my fans. Even more than I hate them. (Slightly more.)

So, there it is again. I started out wanting to write about something else, and through my ingenious convoluted stream of consciousness, I produced what can only be described as a boring, pointless waste of words. SUCCESS AGAIN!! I hope you enjoyed it as much as anything else I've done (though I'm just gonna assume you enjoyed it less than that one I wrote about shitting). If you're one of those people who's going to jump back and forth between my last blog and this one, so you can point out all the mistakes I made in my references, let me be the first to say, "My, how fucking clever you are. Stay right here, I'm gonna go get you a cookie." Oh, also, if you're interested to know what I was gonna write about (so, you can leave me a comment about it) it was hot girl on girl action. Ready...set...GO!!

Until next time my junkies: And it's you, you're running through my mind and it makes me crazy. Cra..cra..crazy.