twice the smartass, half the laughs
A Word, By Any Other Word, Is Still A Word
Post Date:

Today, while I was at work, my coworker, and fellow MySpace blogger Ethan Allen (no, not that Ethan Allen - his joke, unless you laughed, then it's all me baby) asked me for a totally work related favor. We're both very work oriented. He wanted to know how to get his name on his MySpace page to appear in a larger font, while not affecting the rest of the text on the page. Well, I looked at the code for his page layout and suggested the he isolate the nametext class in his style setting and give it a different font size (duh, right?). Of course it worked (pretentious laugh and back patting here). He sent me an email thanking me. I responded with the following: "Yes, sometimes my geekiness comes in handy." And, what should appear under my carefully chosen adjective, but the distinctive red squiggly line of a word that Outlook doesn't recognize. Honestly, I had no idea that "geekiness" wasn't even a word (a subsequent online dictionary check proved that Outlook was not just messing with me). So, though I had no intention of replacing the word, I decided to see what Outlook suggested I use in its place. None of the suggested replacement words meant what I meant by using the non-word "geekiness". The suggested replacement words were these:

Gawkiness - No, I typed Geekiness, not spazmatic (which itself will give the suggestion "spasmodic" or, in Word, ?spermatic?. Spermatic? Really? Awesome. Sometimes, my spermaticness comes in handy.)

Greediness - Some geeks are greedy. (I never said Bill Gates)

Jerkiness - My favorite definition for this (well jerky actually) is "meat cured by jerking". Interesting. You know, I myself have cured meat by jerking once or twice.

Leakiness - Leaky geeks? Ewe.

Gelidness - Isolation, because of your excessive intelligence and awkward demeanor, can make the geek gelid.

Meekness - "The quality or state of being meek." That's the actual definition. Thanks, that clears up a lot. Why then can't the definition of Geekiness be: "The quality or state of being a geek"?

Eeriness - Scary geeks? Zoinks!

So, be careful what you replace your word with, you just may change the entire meaning of what you write. Actually, just add the word to the dictionary. Don't let some machine tell you how to spell. Computers don't speak no anglish no how. They speaks dem binarian languages. So, you just tell Outlook, next time it doesn't recognize the word you want to use (just because it's not a word): 010001000011111000010010101010100101110101011010101010100101010101010100101010.....wait...no, I'm sorry, I meant 01010101010100000101010101001010101001001010101001. (Your computer is laughing hysterically - on the inside.)

Also, if you don't read Ethan Allen's blog (just because you don't know who he is and you don't like reading blogs...wait....what're you doing here then? Oh, right, I'm awesome.), and you want to, check out his MySpace page at: http://www.myspace.com/notthatethanallen . I think you'll find his blog to be slightly less interesting than mine, and it can give you some good insight into a person who I find entirely moderately interesting. And, if you don't read my MySpace blog (you're probably better off) then you're probably reading this on my website or you're a liar and you are reading it on my MySpace blog after all. Dirty liar. I like you already.

Until next time: You keep using that word. I do not think it means, what you think it means.
18