twice the smartass, half the laughs
Allee's Beauty Secrets
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Before I get started let me just say that, though I am very disappointed in the outcome of yesterday's NFC Championship game (particularly the officiating - though I'll spare you my diatribe on that particular bit of bullshit), I am still very happy with the Saints season and I believe that they will only continue to get better. So, as not to be a sore loser, let me just say congratulations to the Chicago Bears. I hope you enjoy the feeling of being winners as I hope, with every beat of my tiny black heart, that you have your asses handed to you by Indy in the Super Bowl. There, now that that's out of the way...

What's up peeps? Has it been a year already? How's 2007 treatin' ya thus? "Where in the hell have I been?", you may be wondering. "Why, working on my novel." I'd likely respond. Then I'd laugh and laugh, and you'd probably laugh too realizing that someone as lazy as me (who can't even manage to write a stupid blog on a regular basis) would never take on the overwhelming task of penning a novel. And if I did, you could be fairly certain that I would never finish, as I am such a scatter brain and so easily distracted, that I would likely veer away from it right in the middle and then never be able to remember where I wanted to go with it before just abandoning it it raining outside?.... I wonder if I left my dryer on at home? ....What was I talking about? I'm kidding. I don't even do laundry, so I know I couldn't have possibly left my dryer on. If, however, I did manage to see my way through the writing process, and the revision process (which FYI would NEVER happen. Me no like critiques, and me definitely no like revisions.), and didn't get so overwhelmed by what I assume would be a plethora ("What's a plethora?" you ask. "Consult El Guapo." I'd reply.) of post-it notes with key plot points that would likely have nothing to do with each other, not to mention the fact that I'd probably lose half of them, well... if I DID manage to get through that, and I DID manage to write a novel, I can definitely guarantee this: It would be totally awesome... or it would suck... or it would be so-so. Who knows really? And who will ever know? Probably not me.

In other news (and in regard to the title of this post), my daughter, the incomparable, beautiful, wonderfully talented, wickedly smart, and delightfully funny offspring, one Miss Caroline Allee "Formerly Gator Currently Lee-Lee" Gay has tipped me off to her beauty secret. If you don't know, my daughter is exceptionally beautiful. Now, of course, I WOULD be expected to think this, but don't take my word for it. Let's get a completely objective opinion on it. Please welcome for the first time in my blog (and hopefully not the last) Mr. Henry "Arthur Fonzarelli" Winkler. (Applause)

Me: Mr. Winkler, thank you so much for being here today.

H.W.(Thumbs up): AAAAAAAYYEEE!

Me: Ha ha. Yes. AAAAAYYYEEE indeed! So tell me, have you ever seen a little girl as beautiful as my daughter?

H.W.: Absolutely not!

Me: So, would you say that Allee is the most beautiful little girl in the whole wide world?

H.W.: Exactamundo! AAAAAYYYEEE!!

Me: Thanks so much. I hope to have you back in my blog sometime... would that be alright?

H.W.(Thumbs up): AAAAAYYYEEE!!

So there you have it. If the Fonz says it's so, then it must be. after all, he is as cool as it gets. Now, as for the secret of her amazing beauty... well, I learned what it was the other day, and I think you'll be surprised at how incredibly simple it is. (Warning - If you are opposed to having your heart melted, please stop reading now.) When I ask her (as I am on occasion inclined to do), "Allee, how come you're so beautiful?" She replies to me (here it comes), she says "Because you love me daddy." Awe. How sweet is that? But she's not just being sweet. I'm pretty sure she's telling the truth cause I love her mom too and she's also beautiful. So basically, if you want to be beautiful, just find a way to get me to love you. Simple right?

Well, as you can see I am back in all my weirdo, stupid, shenanigan-filled goodness. I hope you'll stop by on a semi-regular basis and check out my posts. After all, if you don't read this, then I'm really just talking to myself which, now that I think about it, is really how I spend most of my time anyway. So...was I making a point with this? Oh, right, I wasn't. Anyway, I'm super stoked about the return of heroes tonight. (Hmmmmmm...Heroes returns and so does my blog. coincidence? Absolutely.) Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time for my afternoon pudding. Later peeps.

Until next time: 1-2-3 o'clock 4 o'clock rock! 5-6-7 o'clock, 8 o'clock rock! 9-10-11 o'clock, 12 o'clock rock! We're gonna rock...around...the clock tonight!