twice the smartass, half the laughs
Allee's Doppelganger
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This weekend there was a charming little girl in our house who bore a striking resemblence to our daughter Allee. Don't believe me? Check out the picture to the left and you tell me who's who smartass (please disregard that statement if you have never met me and/or have never seen Allee). Allison (aka: Allee's doppelganger) is the daughter of my wife Shelley's cousin Ren and her husband (Ren's not my wife's...that's me) Gary (do you like how I explain who these people are? Like anyone who doesn't know me reads this). Well, the girls had a blast hanging out. Well, it seemed that way. They are just toddlers after all. So, who knows what seething cauldren of contempt and resentment they hide behind their giggly smiles. For the most part, they got along. There were only a couple of punches thrown (by Allee actually. Apparently, she doesn't like the idea of her daddy huggin up on another kid) but none landed. I put up a picture gallery of the girls. I'll add to it when Ren and Gary send me some of the pictures they shot. Feel free to check it out now. The rest of this post isn't going anywhere (like literally. Shocking I know. I'm normally so poignant and thought provoking) As for the adults, we all had a good time visiting. Ren and Gary are moving here in a few months, and Gary (who's an OBGYN) and I went to Hammond on Sunday to check the construction on his new office. When we got back to the house, I treated everyone to my delicious pork roast (which apparently is my signature dish). Everyone seemed to have a really good weekend. Yesterday was pretty good too, well...until I got home. Which brings me to this morning:

Allee: MMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYY!!!! WWWWWAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

Me: Baby, do you want to go for a ride in the car?

Allee: Sniff, sniff, whimper whimper. NO!!

Me: Sweetie, do you want to go to miss Julie's house and play?

Allee: WWWWWAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! NO!! NO!! MMMMMOOOMMMYYY!!!

Me: Baby, calm down please. Tell me what's wrong.

Allee: AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH!!! MMMMMMMMOOOOOOMMMMMMYYYYY!!!

Me: Sweetie, your mommy had to go to work. Do you want some cereal?

Allee: NNNNNNOOOOOOO!!! MMMMOOOOMMMMMMYYYYY!!! sniff, sniff.

Me: Baby do you want some milk?

Allee: NNNNNNOOOOOOO!!! AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! MMMMMMOOOOOOMMMMYYYY!!!

Me: Come on baby, we have to go. We're gonna go to miss Julie's house where you can play.

Allee: sniff, sniff, whimper, whimper.

Me: Do you want to bring anything?

Allee: memomade

Me: Lemonade?

Allee: ach (yes)

Me: Anything else?

Allee: (sounds like dinosaur)

Me: Doughnut?

Allee: ach.

Me: Okay, anything else?

Allee: milk.

Me: Okay, are you ready to go?

Allee: (lips tremble, eyes redden, tears start to form) AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! MMMMMOOOOOMMMMYYYY!!!

We fight. I put her in the car. She struggles the whole way. She screams. She asks for her mom. She tells me she wants out of the seat. We arrive at Miss Julie's house.

Where are we sweetie? Who's house is this?

Allee: miss julie's. CEREAL!! CEREAL!!

Me: Okay baby, I'm sure Miss Julie will give you some cereal inside.

Allee: NNNNOOOOO!!!

We struggle our way into Miss Julie's house. Something happens. I put Allee down. She runs over to the table to get a book. She see's Miss Julie. She laughs. She gives me a big hug. I stoop down to kiss her goodbye. She pushes me over and gets in my lap so I can't leave. She gives me a slobbery kiss and tells me goodbye. She says "Love you much daddy", as I walk towards the door. I turn around and blow her a kiss and tell her I love her too.

What the hell? Gotta love those two's right?

Until next time: This party doesn't even have any chips! CHIPS! CHIPS! CHIPS! CHIPS!
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