twice the smartass, half the laughs
Jimmy Gay: International Man of Comedy
Post Date:

Hey everybody (yes all two of you...i know who you are...and...i know where you live...and...i like ellipses...though I think I use them incorrectly). I'd apologize for taking so long between posts, but, come on. I mean, does a dealer apologize to a junkie for being out of smack ( i don't know? maybe if the dealer's a really nice guy and only sells drugs because he can't find a good job because the man's keepin' em' down. wait...where was I going with this? Oh, right. I'm the dealer, you're the junkie, and this blog is your sweet nirvana smack. You're my blog fiend. Now back to your fix.) Jeez, it's amazing what comes out when I don't think anything through before I start writing. Blog junkies? Really?

So, what's been up? No, really. I want to know (Wait, no I don't. Back to me.). Well, Easter was this past weekend. Hope everyone had a great one (unless you don't celebrate Easter. Then I hope you had a great whatever you celebrate, or, if you don't celebrate anything, just a great regular Sunday.) For all you Christians out there, let me just say: Way to go Jesus! Rising from the dead is no easy task. Really. Believe me. I mean, I've done it like twice, and both times really sucked. (Ah, yes. When I get to hell, I won't have to have called ahead. I'm quite sure my reputation shall precede me.) Let's see. Who can I offend next? Hmm, how about people who hate adorable little girls? The picture to above is, of course, our little Gator (if you're just joining us, and you don't know me, my daughter's name is Allee. I call her Gator. Why? Cause she's my little Allee-Gay-tor. Get it? I'm the only one who calls her that. avoid serious objections when I get home...Shelley occasionally calls her that too.) in her adorable Easter Bunny ears, and in her sassy new Easter outfit, complete with sunglasses courtesy of her Grandma Mimi (man, can I run on a sentence or what? That doesn't just happen kids. It takes years of honing your craft.) This year was particularly exciting because it's the first year that Allee could truly associate Easter to put this...well, like 18 tons of candy in pastel colored packaging. Not to mention new toys and books. Hmmm, let's see here, this association: Holiday = Stuff for her. Exciting huh? All in all, we had a really good weekend. Since we were off Friday, and it was pretty (pretty hot - um, der) we drove into Chocolate City to go the world famous Audubon Zoo. That's right, we all went down to the Audubon Zoo and, surprisingly, they didn't ask for you. Allee enjoyed it. A photo gallery is forth coming.

What else? There was something else I wanted to mention. Hmmm, let's junkies...yeah, got that...offend the Christians...yep...Allee's a cutie pie...mmm hmm...still, it feels like I'm leaving something out. Oh right! The title. Jimmy Gay - International Man of Comedy. Whatever does that mean Jimmy? Well, I'm glad you asked. Seems I've acquired something of a fan in a seemingly very nice lady from England (hence the international part - again, um der) As you may or may not know, I have a MySpace account (wait, before you get all: "Dude, I'm like reading this on you MySpace account. How could I NOT know you have one? What are you, and idiot?" Well, yes, but that's beside the point. Keep in mind that I also have a real website and I post my blogs on both. So, I try to write them to accomodate people who come across it on MySpace and people who visit my real site. Hence the explanation of my MySpace account for people on my real site and this boring pointless aside for my peeps on MySpace.) Seems, this lady (we'll call her "Lou") came across my MySpace blog somehow, and well, what do you think? She thought it was hilarious. Or, as she might say in her language "brilliant" (I'm bilingual). In fact, Lou said something to effect that one of my blogs may have been one of the funniest things she had ever read. Which one you ask? Why? You already know. The one about shitting in the office place of course. In fact, if you are reading this on my MySpace blog, go to the blog entry titled "The Art of Self Doubt" and read her comment post. It's brilliant, or as I might say in my language "hysterical" (It's really quite amazing how effortlessly I slip between languages isn't it? Eh, it's a gift). Anyway, welcome to the bandwagon Lou. I'm sure that very soon you'll be asking to get off (if not already. last night I sent her an email telling her how funny I thought her comment was. If you think I'm long winded and pointless in my blogs, try trading emails with me sometime. You have no idea.) She may have already emailed me back telling me to please leave her alone (I'll have to wait until I get home to check - mean I AM home. ha ha. course...I know writing a blog would be a sensless waste of company time).

Well, I hope you didn't find this too offensive, or didn't find my liberal use of asides (you know, like this one) and these...too off putting. But if you did, think of it this way: This can be your first step to recovery. My blogs are a fickle mistress indeed. Get out while you still can. If you can make it through the shakes, it gets easier, I promise. Later junkies.

Until next time: Just what I my own dreams...was the reflections of my warped mind staring back at me. Cause in my dreams, it's always there. The evil face that twists my mind and brings me to dispair! YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!

p.s. Man, I really wanted to talk about Madden dominance. You see, two weeks ago, my brother and I played some Madden online (we do this regularly). Well, in the second match up, he made me be the Saints and he was the Broncos. The result? If I remember correctly, I shut him out. With the Saints! That's dominance baby. That's what I wanted to talk about, but all I can think about is this bitter taste left in my mouth from this weekend. What was it? Not what you're thinking you dirty pervs. No, it was the bitter taste of consecutive defeats. Oh well. Next weekend chum. Next weekend.

p.s.s This blog's so long, I coded a song into it. Enjoy.