twice the smartass, half the laughs
Weekend Shenanigans, Summer Do's, and Super Secret Surprises
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Man, when your wife walks by and tells you, "You know, you'd better keep writitng new blogs, or you won't keep your fans". (Jimmy's standard inaccuracy disclaimer here.) know you're slacking. I wanted to write this on Monday, but...well, you know. (if this is your first visit to my blog...I didn't write it on Monday. also, if this is your first time to my blog, i use a lot of asides....and...ellipses.(it's true, sometime i even (double em' up...but wait, that'd be tripled.)<--one two-->)all three closed.) what did I want to talk about? oh right. This weekend, my lovely wife Shelley, and my adorable, precosious little sweetheart Gator, or, as she is now known, "Her Nakedness", and I took a drive into Jefferson (you know, across the puddle) to join in the festivities that are Sue and Mike's annual block party. It's this huge crawfish boil! We had a really good time. I made a picture gallery of it. It's AWESOME. Check em' out! (If you're reading this on my MySpace blog, the picture gallery is on my real site. "What's that?" you ask. "Get with the program" I say. Also, there's a clue in it to...wait, not yet.)) There's not one picture of anyone eating crawfish. Know why? If you don't, you've never been to one. I mean, you have to have a designated non-eater. A DESIGNATED NON-EATER??!! WHY WOULD YOU GO TO A CRAWFISH BOIL AND NOT EAT CRAWFISH?? Wait...come to think of it, we DID have a non-crawfish-eater there. how was that hotdog buddy? you know who i'm talking to. What's up Chris? I kid, of course. No.. wait...come to think of it, Chris couldn't possibly have taken pictures while people were eating crawfish...that's right...he was helping me with...(eep. i've said too much.)

So, how about my new haircut? And of course, the shave. I mean, I have such a handsome face, why would I want to cover it up? Come on ladies...give it up. Come on! Let's here it! Now, just the ladies in the back! Look at me over there. Pontificating. (so cute) Man, I wanted to hold out until the first day of summer, but damn, it's hot. Here's an amusing tidbit (jesus, sometimes I write so gay) The only reason I grew my hair out and grew those sideburns was because I have these funky old amber tinted sunglasses (you know, like porn star...or John and Ponch) and I wanted to get a picture of myself in them with the chops (cause I thought it'd be awesome). So, Sunday, after I had taken it all off, I remembered that that's why I had grown it. So, I laughed and said (you know, like to myself...not out loud), "Oh well, I guess it's a good thing that hair grows back." Then Monday, I go to get in my truck...and there are my sunglasses...on the passenger side floorboard...broken. It almost looks as though someone twisted them into submission...with very tiny can't be right. (on another note - I just switched over to Audioslave; I had been listening to Faith No More (and on a completely unrelated matter, that's the first semi-colon I've ever used in a blog. Welcome. I look forward to overusing you as I have with the period and the paranthesis.) So, if this blog takes a different flavor over the next part - like using the word "flavor", you'll know why.) What else was there? Oh, right.

I've got a super secret surprise. "What is it?" you ask. "Dude," I retort, "get with the program." I'm not going to tell you. In fact, there's only three people who know. Doug, Troy and Shelley. So, you have to be my wife, my brother, or sit next to me at work to know. Wait...I guess I should (I just sent Chuck an email telling him what it was - Man, that is so jimmy). There, that's better. Wait...shit...I told a bunch of people at the block party. oh well. I'm still not gonna tell. But, it's coming soon. (Well, I couldn't work on it tonight, so who knows when I'll be done. you know, cause I had to write this damn blog) I guess this is it. Long enough for you?

Until next time: Jake stepped up, he was the third in line. He wanted nothin' but a piece of mind. Yeah, an innocent heart in a child so kind. The demon'll change all that if he's given the time. Somebody save Jake.

p.s. How many times is the phrase "you know" used in this thing? you know?